Selfish Secrets

The thing I learned throughout my pregnancy, birth, and now as a mother is that I was lied to.

I don't mean that the way it sounds. It's not that I was intentionally deceived, it's just that I wasn't given the full reality. For instance, as a new mom of just one little one I do have free time. Such as right now as Gabe takes his morning nap a few feet away from me in the swing.

The trick that they DON'T tell you, or at least, my reality that no one prepared me for, is that you don't have a lot of that free time so you have to choose carefully how to spend it. Do I want to take that couple hours of nap and clean? Shower? Sleep? Paint my nails? Do laundry? Online shop (don't judge me)?? Do I want to read my Bible? Listen to a sermon? So every time Gabe naps I have to make these decisions. The hardest part about those decisions is that some of those are selfish and some of those are duties, and when I shirk a duty to, oh I don't know, paint my nails, I feel guilty. But then, after about a week of using all of Gabe's nap time to either clean, do laundry or cook dinner, I realized something. If I keep trying to do it all without taking any of Gabe's nap time as selfish time I was going to lose my mind. And I also realized that my husband doesn't expect me to not have any selfish time. How freeing. So I made the decision that I would make the most of my selfish decisions. So, although I don't get to do these things each and every time I have a spare hour with a sleeping baby, here are my secrets to making the most of those moments.

Secret #1. The King of Skin by Lush Cosmetics. It's made of coco/shea/coconut butters, avocado, oatmeal, essential oils, and most prominently, bananas. My husband bought me this for Christmas and I love it. You use it in the shower, rub it on, rinse it off, and enjoy soft silky smooth!! Uuggghh. Just talking about it is making me want to go upstairs and take a shower. Seriously. It makes my shower feel like a spa experience.

Secret #2. I like expensive nice things. To that end, I know that not everyone is willing to spend $14 on nail polish, but again, these are MY secrets to MY selfish moments. So here is my second secret, Butter London nail polish (pictured in Snog, my fave!). The best part about this nail polish is that it's free of three of the harsh chemicals (like formaldehyde) that are found in most other nail polishes. Now. I know that chemical ridden nail polishes have been in use for decades and decades, and that I myself have been using them for 20 years and still have my fingers and my nails so it's really not a big draw. But I am a sucker for this kind of stuff. What can I say?

Secret #3. This secret isn't really a secret probably. But an important part of my selfish moments is a cup of coffee, my journal, Bible, and whatever book I'm reading at the moment (What Good Is God? by Phillip Yancy is the book du jour). Reading my Bible and writing out my thoughts on the verses or whats happening in my heart or what I'm hearing from the Lord may not sound selfish, but it is. I mean that in the sense that I have come to find spending time with God indulgent, it's a joy, something that sustains me, and because that's how I see it the time I spend doing that counts toward my selfish time.

So there are a few of my secrets to enjoying time to myself. I have yet to do any of those things today because I chose to blog instead, but the baby is still asleep, I have my coffee, and my book is sitting next to me, so I'm going to get a little time in. :)

Big things are happening in the Smith House. Big, BIG things. I'll go into more detail soon, till then keep us and our changing lives in your prayers.