Do Justice, Love Kindness

My mother is an alcoholic and like many alcoholics her journey has been about peaks and valleys. She'd been at a peak for quite some time but with a disease like alcoholism if you aren't diligent a peak becomes a cliff and you suddenly find yourself in a valley. A couple weeks ago my mom found herself in one such valley and took her first steps toward a new peak, she sought treatment. It was Saturday morning when I found out that she'd relapsed and checked herself in to a treatment center two states away from where she lives. By the time I knew what was happening she was already checked into the facility and detoxing, meaning speaking to her was impossible. Within a few hours I got another message from my dad, my parents are divorced but my brother had told him what was happening. He sent a single sentence with a link to an article, "This is the place she's in..." 

What did people do before Google? I spent the next 30 hours glued to my phone as I surfed through dozens and dozens of websites calling this facility out, warning people away and sharing the stories of those they loved who had been through this program. The quickest and easiest way to explain the situation is also the most dramatic and unbelievable, but I promise you it’s also the truth. This place was the front for a cult. After crying and praying and researching and struggling to know how to handle the situation I told my husband I just needed a minute of fluffy pretty life where I didn't have to think. There was just the word of a couple dozen nameless internet people to go on and I wasn't sure how to proceed without knowing for certain what this place was. I just needed a break while my brain bounced back. We went to Target, home of all things wonderful, and I embraced sweet not thinking. For five whole minutes. As I stood in the bathroom textile section I got a call from the friend who had helped my mom seek treatment. As she told me the story of how they found this place tears began rolling down my cheeks. Everything she said was matching up with every account I’d read of how people got lured there, from the lies they tell potential clients to get them in the door down to the scamming tactics they used to fool the insurance company. I looked at my husband who simply said “Let’s go get her.” 

Believe it or not this is just the context of what I want to talk about, this story is just the catalyst for something the Lord placed on my heart. I haven’t gone into detail about what I found online, and from here won’t go into detail about how the Lord showed off in helping me and Aaron get my mom out of there. It’s an incredible story about the power of God and someday I will tell it as it’s own story, and not just the backdrop to something else. Suffice it to say that after the longest day of my life and with the help of three law enforcement officers who I will be eternally thankful for we got my mom out. The more I learned about the place, the more the police shared their experiences and the more she herself told me, the longer the reality of what we had done sunk in all I could think was “How could this happen? How could someone do this to people?"

In an effort to find some kind of satisfying answer I have spent the weeks since this happened reading up on different cult leaders and groups and the psychology of how cults attract and maintain a following. The power of every single cult and cult leader hinges on taking advantage of the brokenness in this world, and the pain of the people in it. Their power hinges on being able to fill a need in someone, that is the bait. When you fill a need for someone they begin to feel something for you, gratefulness, appreciation, even love. 

Be warned, I’m about to say some incendiary things. 

These groups take advantage of a vacuum that is created when the people of God forget that He has charged us to love and care for the people of this world as if they are our own selves. When the Church forgets to care for the needy and feed the starving and defend the defenseless and love every last stranger we open the door for those who would take advantage of the needy and the starving and the defenseless and the unknown. When we forget to shine the light of God’s love in the darkness we leave people alone in their pain and grief, we leave them to those who would fill their needs only to twist them around in deception. 

Maybe you’re thinking I don’t know anyone in a cult or even in danger of being in a cult, but I want to connect it for you: this isn’t just about PEOPLE who would twist and deceive the hurting, it’s about the devil himself. This is his MO, this is how he operates, he offers a counterfeit peace, a counterfeit happiness, he offers lies and deceptions to those in the dark and then twists them around and keeps them mired in untruths and bondage. You may not know anyone at risk to joining a cult but we all know those at risk to believing the enemy’s lies, they are our friends and our families and the people who live on our street and the people who drive next to us on the highway and the people in line with us at the grocery store or sitting next to us on the train.

What would our lives look like if we shined the light that is God’s love into peoples darkness? What would their lives look like? 

Sometimes it feels so big, it feels so overwhelming, how could I make a difference? The Bible says "The light shines in the darkness and the darkness does not overcome it" (John 1:5). The light it's talking about is Christ, the Word made flesh. This passage calls Christ the light of all people (vs 4). This is the same Christ that is inside us, the same light inside us, and this light is designed to chase the dark away. Micah 6:8 says "what else does God ask of you but to do justice and love kindness?" Are there two any better ways to shine a light into someone's brokenness than these?!

Kindness, as simple as a smile and gentle word to the people that you come into contact with each day. Justice, as inconvenient as driving across state lines to literally remove someone from the grasp of evil. Why do we let these opportunities to be inconvenienced for the sake of showing someone else the love of God, and maybe, through that, piercing their darkness, go by? We all do it, a hundred times a day we make the choice to leave someone with their needs and in pain, it seems too big or we don’t have time or feel embarrassed or we simply don’t realize the person standing next to us is on the brink of believing a devastating lie. We leave them in darkness and keep our light to ourselves, and we leave a vacuum for them to be swept up by those that would keep them in that bondage. 

Before we left to get my mom, my aunt told me "You're being an incredible example of God's love." All I could think was how?? It didn't feel incredible or explemplary, it just felt like what you do when someone you love is in such a terrible place. 

Maybe that's what it's supposed to feel like when you shine the light of God's love into the dark corners of a broken world. Maybe it's supposed to feel like just what you do. Maybe it isn't about the size of the action or how well we know the person, maybe love is just supposed to be the automatic response to everyone in every moment. Yes we would all do these things for someone we know, someone close to us, but what about the least of these? The strangers? Hebrews says don't forget to show hospitality to strangers, some have done this and entertained angels. Christ says what you do for the least of these you do for me. It’s easy to call ourselves Christians and say that we love everyone, but only ever act out that love for those closest to us. If I learned anything driving away from that place it was that not everyone has someone close to them to rescue them. Plenty of people get left behind in darkness. The Bible says that as Christians those people are our responsibility, 1 John 3:17 asks how can the love of God be in someone who does nothing to help someone in need, Isaiah and Jeremiah both say to correct oppression and deliver the poor from the hand of the oppressors, over and over the Bible commands us to take up the plight of the widows and orphans and fatherless, God implores us to become the family of those who don't have one! 

There is always, always something we can do to shine a light in someone else's dark place. And if we do that then maybe we will take a big chunk out of the number of people vulnerable to the lies and deceptions and counterfeits the enemy sells, there will be less people willing to sell their loyalty to false prophets and twisted men set on binding others in their brokenness. If we do that we will strike a blow for the Kingdom of God and we will truly be fulfilling the call of the Lord on each of our lives. 

For me I feel so convicted, the people still back there in that building weigh on me heavily. We're working with local police and the district attorney there to get that place shut down. But it doesn't feel like enough. I want to be someone who brings light in the darkness before the situation gets that desperate. It is my prayer that everywhere I go the Lord would open doors for me to be a light, big or small, that my eyes would be opened to the endless opportunities to show someone the love of God, the light of Christ that drives out the dark, and that I would be courageous enough to step into those moments, every time. 

{all verses quoted are ESV}

ReMineralization Minus the Sugar

And reelectrolytization. Cause that's a word. 

After several days of a stomach bug being passed around our house I am trying desperately to rehydrate and replenish minerals to our whole fam. My options are the traditional choices, Pedialyte or Gatorade. But if I'm trying to make healthy choices for my family shouldn't that extend to sickness times? Heck, shouldn't that be the time when I make the healthiest choices? Okay, okay, I slipped last week and ate spicy ramen while I had a cold, but hey, I'm back on the wagon! So in terms of healthy choices, how do these options stack up? 

Pedialyte (in it's flavor varieties) uses the artificial sweeteners sucralose and acesulfame potassium. Sucralose (the base of artificial sweetener Splenda) has been a hot topic amongst healthcare professionals for a while now. Recent research has shown that in animals absorption of sucralose caused up to a 40% decrease in the size of the thymus gland (a critical gland for your body's disease response protocol and the core of your immune system), enlarged liver and kidneys, atrophy of lymph follicles and a reduced growth rate. And acesulfame potassium is a potassium salt containing methylene chloride, a known carcinogen, long term exposure to to methylene chloride can cause nausea, headaches, mood problems, impairment of the liver and kidneys, problems with eyesight and more. 

Gatorade, while not as scary sounding because of it's use of real sugar, is a problem for just that reason! The last thing you want to give a child (or adult for that matter) who has been throwing up or experiencing the bathroom blues is a big glass of sugary artificially flavored water. Sugar exacerbates EVERY stomach issue, especially these two. And let's get honest, doesn't it make more sense to follow up a work out with something else good for your body as opposed to something full of sugar and artifical ingredients? 

I realize that all sounds super intense. I'm not trying to be scary with the effects of fake sweeteners, and I don't mean to freak anyone out. I'm not a "cancer is everywhere" kind of person but I do think it's important to know what we're putting in our bodies or our kids bodies, and I do think it's important to know the potential impact those things have. In my home, when I can, I go for something natural and free of additives, sweeteners (even sugar) or artificial preservatives.

Which brings me (FINALLY) to a natural alternative: coconut water! 

In case you're tired of reading I'm just going to go ahead and tell you what I do, and then we'll talk about the benefits. 

For the kids I take one cup of high quality coconut water and add a little POM original and a dash of pineapple juice (real, not from concentrate, no sugar added, pineapple juice) and then fill the rest of the cup with water. For me or the hubs I just make a double dose and add a lime slice or two. That's it! It's actually delicious and probably just going to go in the rotation of THINGS I DRINK ALL THE TIME. 

For a comparison on the minerals in each here is a side by side (or rather top on bottom) comparison. The top are the minerals in a serving Pedialyte and the bottom are the minerals in a serving of coconut water. On top is Pedialyte and on the bottom is coconut water. I feel like this speaks for itself!! 

As for Gatorade, coconut water does contain less sodium and fewer carbohydrates. One option is to add an eighth of a teaspoon of sea salt to the drink to up the sodium. I don't particularly feel the need to ingest more sodium in life, and am willing to sacrifice some sodium and carbs for the sake of a preservative free, no added sugar option. 

Whether as a post stomach bug replenish or a post work out boost, it just just makes more sense to me to do something as natural and real as possible. 

One last note? Coconut water must be used within 48 hours of opening the container. If you find it hard to drink it all within that time, an excellent option is to freeze it in cubes and throw it in your post workout shake! Frozen it is good for about two months! 

What are your hydration favorites?

Hand Written Fridays

Hello, my name is Abbey, and I buy notebooks. When I'm in a store it doesn't even matter a little why I'm there, I have a paper black out and wake up standing in the school/office supply aisle clutching a college ruled wirebound notebook in one hand and a hardcover idea book with a hand drawn typewriter on the cover in the other. It's an illness. It may not sound like an illness to some of you, but others of you are with me, you feel that same twitch when you walk into a store that sells things completely unrelated to paper products and you realize they have a notebook selection. 

P.S. My husband loves this about me. He doesn't roll his eyes when he finds me staring at Moleskines or ask "Really?!" in a higher pitch than I'd imagined possible when I tell him I think I need a new notebook. Just maybe don't ask him about this though. 

Anyway, I love notebooks. As a result of having more notebooks than anyone could possibly fill I write most of my prayers. Well. Honestly it's a result of my brain being way too stream-of-consciousness to do anything other than write down my prayers, so I guess it's just a lucky coincidence I happen to have this addiction. Quietly praying in my mind is one of those things that I have found I simply cannot do. It always starts off well but goes down the same twisty path: "Dear Lord thank you so much for all you've provided, thank you for our house...is this a rent paycheck week? Wait what day is this?? Oh crap it's Tuesday I have NO! I mean thank you for the house and for providing for us and for our incredible kids who are healthy and...Lula should have an appointment soon...isn't it supposed to be like every month in the first year? Or is it every three months? I should google that. NO! No google! No. Praying. Lord thank you, and I pray that you would help me to have patience dealing with both of them as they go through typical kid stuff, that I would be a good mother to them...wasn't there a magazine column called The Good Mother? Oh no that was in a book I read last summer where she wrote that for a paper. Do people still get the paper? Like an actual paper? I haven't seen a paper delivery boy in ages! Oh man that's crazy! What do kids do now for first jobs? Whatever, they probably design websites at the same age I was when I delivered papers. Although that wasn't even my job that was my brother's job! Rude. Oh! I need to text my brother....." 

You get the idea. 

Journaling my prayers helps me stay focused, something about writing instead of just thinking or even speaking out loud helps me stay on task. There's none of that crazy mind wandering down the rabbit hole business. I have four notebooks I write prayers in. Three are composition books I have designated for each member of my family, one for Gabe, one for Tallulah and one for Aaron. I write prayers specific to and for each of them in those pages, pouring my heart out to God for them and covering them in prayer. I plan to do this for my whole entire life. And I am excited to someday look back and see how God was faithful to my prayers for my family. I'm also excited to someday hand these notebooks over to my children, to show them how God has been faithful to them through the years. 

Beyond it's ability to focus my prayer life, writing out my prayers offers me a unique opportunity to revisit my past prayer life. To see when I struggled to be disciplined in prayer, what I prayed for through different seasons of my life, and my favorite part, seeing how my prayers were answered. It is truly incredible to look back through and see how the Lord has been faithful to me. Every Friday in this month of writing about prayer I want to give you a glimpse of that last aspect, I want to share with you a specific prayer request that I can look back at and see how it was answered and the Lord's faithfulnes, even if the answer wasn't what I hoped for. I really truly believe that one way to strengthen your prayer life is to be aware of and continuously thankful for how the Lord has honored your prayers in the past, despite which way His answer goes. 

Last October one thing I was praying for was the reconciliation of some of my family members. For years there had been a serious and significant rift between a couple members of my family and the distance between them was heartbreaking to me. I had spent most of the years they were at odds praying for healing but things only seemed to be getting progressively worse. By this time last year I was starting to feel pretty discouraged. Growing up my family was close, like CLOSE. You know that show Parenthood? I watch it with my husband who complained once about how unrealistic it is. "Nobody's family is like that! Everyone over at each other's houses and knowing all each other's business!" I told him that that was exactly why I loved the show! Because to me it was eerily realistic! It was exactly how my family had been growing up. Before some particularly difficult moments in our history as a family that is just how we were, lots of togetherness, lots of laughter, and usually a decent amount of food. Our holidays were the stuff of Christmas cards and cheesy movies. As last October began I had a two year old and was three weeks away from the arrival or our daughter and I was desperate for my kids to know that kind of family togetherness. I was praying for healing and reconciliation, yes, but I was also praying specifically that my kids would get the chance to experience that kind of family celebration, that they would know what it was like to be with their whole family, all together, laughing and celebrating. In October of 2013 it looked bleak, I felt unheard and abandoned, but I continued to pray. 

Three short months later, in my own living room, that rift closed by quite a bit. Another six months after that my baby brother got married and all but two members of my family were there. It was the first time we had all been together in over four years. 

(© Nicholas Hanson Photography)

My kids were passed around by their aunts and uncles and great aunts and great uncles and second cousins and grandparents and great grandparents. They were tickled and loved on and saw us laughing and dancing and of course eating. Healing is a process and things are still coming together, but that day was everything I'd been praying for four years. It was more than I had prayed for!! 

And now I get to look back and see how God was faithful and good and not only answered my prayers but exceeded them, and guys, I weep. I weep with joy at how God showed up. And now in times of struggle, when I feel like my prayers go out into the void and then just dissipate, I read those prayers, and remember how God answered tiny specific details, and it is an incredible reminder, an incredible encouragement. And I keep praying. 

(© Nicholas Hanson Photography)