Date Night

Last night, for the first time since Gabriel was born (which is almost four months in case you're counting), Aaron and I got to go on a baby free date. There are no emoticons to express my delight!!!

Listen, we love our kid, he's the light of our lives and a joy and yadda yadda yadda, but we love each other, and have missed just being an us. So we packed him up, dropped him off at Aunty Jennifer's house, and headed out, dressed to the nines(which was in and of itself lovely, mom duds have come a long way, but I have missed dressing up). Can I just say, whoever thought up that long strappy convertible dress thing is a genius. I love mine.

We went out to an upscale Mexican restaurant and had incredible food. Incredible. I've been there a couple times but Aaron never had. We both LOVED what we got (which is good because a lot of times I get order envy) and the best part was the fresh table side guac. When the "guac girl" came over with her stone mortar and pestle and created a SYMPHONY of avocado, lime, cilantro, tomato, and so on and so on, it made me decide right then and there to find me a stone mortar and pestle ($21 - I can afford that!!). Then we went to Mariano's. Mock if you must! I don't care!! Jennifer said to me "You're totally a grown up, you went to a grocery store on your date night!" but the truth is I'm weird and probably would have done that no matter what my age, even if it wasn't a grocery store as awesome as Mariano's! I don't have time to discuss their awesomeness, but lets just say, it was well worth spending some of our precious free moments in their walls (and not just because of the incredible cupcakes we bought!!). And our last stop was Capannari's for some cake batter ice cream for us and Jennifer (as a thank you for her mad babysitting skills). All in all it was the perfect "first" date!

Adjusting to parenthood isn't easy, and anyone who says it is easy is either lying or didn't have any kind of life before baby. Aaron and I aren't/weren't that way. We both love Gabriel with all our hearts, but we weren't planning on a baby right now (if at all) and certainly didn't feel we'd had enough couple time...we'd only been married lie 10 months when we found out we were pregnant, our first anniversary dinner was tricky for me since literally everything I looked at made me sick. I have missed having my husband all to myself, going out for a fancy dinner, or even just having an uninterupted conversation with ANYONE. I miss the daily interaction with the outside world that being a stay at home mom can hinder, and I really, REALLY miss being able to have the freedom to be flexible and spontaneous.

I realize that these are things that all (or most) new parents miss, and I know that being parents opens up whole new experiences that I will miss when they're gone (every time I cuddle with Gabe I pray he'll still let me hug him when he's a surly teenager). And I don't need a lecture or anyone's judgement for being honest about the things I miss from my pre-baby life. I love my son, I love my life, I am so thankful for where I am and the amazing blessings the Lord has given me. And last night, for a few hours, I got to exclusively enjoy one of those blessings.

My husband makes my knees week. <3

Rhyming

Old poetry is the best. I used to write a lot, I don't as much any more....

I copy and pasted this from an old livejournal post (oh livejournal, how irrelevant). I didn't change anything, but for the record, I always did poems in lowecase letters. I felt it gave me more cred....I was young and silly.

he once held a sword
now all he holds is a string
and he organ grinds music
and for extra will sing
about the days of the war
and his love for his King
but its just cause you paid him
it don't mean a thing

theres a book of old stories
that sits in his pack
and he swears that he loves it
but his passions gone black
the last time he touched it
his heart was intact
now its just too much work
to bring those memories back

so he just sits and swears
that his love wont grow cold
that his motives are pure
that his King stands alone
they pray that its true
the family waiting back home
and they look to the day
when the running gets old.

Selfish Secrets

The thing I learned throughout my pregnancy, birth, and now as a mother is that I was lied to.

I don't mean that the way it sounds. It's not that I was intentionally deceived, it's just that I wasn't given the full reality. For instance, as a new mom of just one little one I do have free time. Such as right now as Gabe takes his morning nap a few feet away from me in the swing.

The trick that they DON'T tell you, or at least, my reality that no one prepared me for, is that you don't have a lot of that free time so you have to choose carefully how to spend it. Do I want to take that couple hours of nap and clean? Shower? Sleep? Paint my nails? Do laundry? Online shop (don't judge me)?? Do I want to read my Bible? Listen to a sermon? So every time Gabe naps I have to make these decisions. The hardest part about those decisions is that some of those are selfish and some of those are duties, and when I shirk a duty to, oh I don't know, paint my nails, I feel guilty. But then, after about a week of using all of Gabe's nap time to either clean, do laundry or cook dinner, I realized something. If I keep trying to do it all without taking any of Gabe's nap time as selfish time I was going to lose my mind. And I also realized that my husband doesn't expect me to not have any selfish time. How freeing. So I made the decision that I would make the most of my selfish decisions. So, although I don't get to do these things each and every time I have a spare hour with a sleeping baby, here are my secrets to making the most of those moments.

Secret #1. The King of Skin by Lush Cosmetics. It's made of coco/shea/coconut butters, avocado, oatmeal, essential oils, and most prominently, bananas. My husband bought me this for Christmas and I love it. You use it in the shower, rub it on, rinse it off, and enjoy soft silky smooth!! Uuggghh. Just talking about it is making me want to go upstairs and take a shower. Seriously. It makes my shower feel like a spa experience.

Secret #2. I like expensive nice things. To that end, I know that not everyone is willing to spend $14 on nail polish, but again, these are MY secrets to MY selfish moments. So here is my second secret, Butter London nail polish (pictured in Snog, my fave!). The best part about this nail polish is that it's free of three of the harsh chemicals (like formaldehyde) that are found in most other nail polishes. Now. I know that chemical ridden nail polishes have been in use for decades and decades, and that I myself have been using them for 20 years and still have my fingers and my nails so it's really not a big draw. But I am a sucker for this kind of stuff. What can I say?

Secret #3. This secret isn't really a secret probably. But an important part of my selfish moments is a cup of coffee, my journal, Bible, and whatever book I'm reading at the moment (What Good Is God? by Phillip Yancy is the book du jour). Reading my Bible and writing out my thoughts on the verses or whats happening in my heart or what I'm hearing from the Lord may not sound selfish, but it is. I mean that in the sense that I have come to find spending time with God indulgent, it's a joy, something that sustains me, and because that's how I see it the time I spend doing that counts toward my selfish time.

So there are a few of my secrets to enjoying time to myself. I have yet to do any of those things today because I chose to blog instead, but the baby is still asleep, I have my coffee, and my book is sitting next to me, so I'm going to get a little time in. :)

Big things are happening in the Smith House. Big, BIG things. I'll go into more detail soon, till then keep us and our changing lives in your prayers.